What am I Willing to Struggle For?

“Happiness Requires Struggle” – Mark Mason

I know the ordinary, “I want to be secure, happy, stable, in love, and buy a house” is the normal response from people. But looking at this article and this question he posed got me to thinking.  What am I willing to struggle for?  What have I struggled for in the 40 years I have been alive?  This prose I wrote a few weeks back that tells my audience, what have I struggled for?

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So……What am I willing to struggle for at 40 years of age and older?  I guess that same things I have experienced, but I am now better able to handle them…manage them….succeed at breaking them.  My life will never be easy, because I am black and I am a woman.  I know and struggle with many different emotions, mental conditions, and being a mom to a young black woman.  I can tell you all about my life growing up in welfare, houses or apartments in North Philadelphia, and my mom’s weaknesses and her failures, but that’s for another time and if you’ve seen my perform spoken word then you already know my story.

But it’s not over yet.  I am passionate about my career and see it going very far and even though I know my road will contain overt or covert racial discrimination…..my hunger is still there…..my hunger for a happiness that’s made for me is at my reach.  Because I believe in me and these struggles will in some way be a part of what makes me a great black woman.

My days are filled with advising students, managing faculty, and collaborating with administration at a university.  In between those times, I am researching articles on law, physics, public policy, critical race theories, tax for accountants, and more.  Because I want knowledge and I know the sacrifices that go with learning, teaching, and training myself.  My nights are just as crazy and after my social life (happy hours, dates, and me-time) I’m back at moving and training my mind, thoughts, and patterns to make this next chapter in my life more joyful.

So…..what am I willing to struggle for?  I have been struggling since my mom knew I was going to be a girl in my belly.  It was just figuring that out at the right time, at the right experience of my epiphany moment.  Even though there is just 24 hours in a day, my training and my struggles don’t end each night I am in bed.  I attach a new thought, song, and theme to an already overcrowded brain to achieve my bliss.  And that right there lets me know that any struggles I am willing to go through will be managed and fought through to achieve Happiness.

The article that spoke to me this morning is below with the link.  Here is a paragraph or two that I found welcoming enough to write today’s blog.  I hoped you enjoyed reading my story. – AcademicHustler1975 

The Most Important Question of Your Life by Mark Manson

People want a partner, a spouse. But you don’t end up attracting someone amazing without appreciating the emotional turbulence that comes with weathering rejections, building the sexual tension that never gets released, and staring blankly at a phone that never rings. It’s part of the game of love. You can’t win if you don’t play.

What determines your success isn’t “What do you want to enjoy?” The question is, “What pain do you want to sustain?” The quality of your life is not determined by the quality of your positive experiences but the quality of your negative experiences. And to get good at dealing with negative experiences is to get good at dealing with life.

Everybody wants to have an amazing job and financial independence—but not everyone wants to suffer through 60-hour work weeks, long commutes, obnoxious paperwork, to navigate arbitrary corporate hierarchies and the blasé confines of an infinite cubicle hell. People want to be rich without the risk, without the sacrifice, without the delayed gratification necessary to accumulate wealth.
 
Everybody wants to have great sex and an awesome relationship—but not everyone is willing to go through the tough conversations, the awkward silences, the hurt feelings and the emotional psychodrama to get there. And so they settle. They settle and wonder “What if?” for years and years and until the question morphs from “What if?” into “Was that it?” And when the lawyers go home and the alimony check is in the mail they say, “What was that for?” if not for their lowered standards and expectations 20 years prior, then what for?
To read the complete article, Please click on the source link below.
Source:
Mark Manson, The Most Important Question of Your Life, http://markmanson.net/question
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